I turn 40 in a few weeks…
I used to look at people in their 40s and think ‘oh wow…. so old’. Now I’m on the cusp of turning 40 myself and not only do I not feel old, I’m also weirdly excited about it. I mean don’t get me wrong, my body definitely is starting to feel like it’s getting older but in my head I’m still 21. Who on earth gave me two small humans? I’m still just a kid!
The thing you need to know about me before I continue to crap on here is that I crap on a lot. Nothing makes sense and I often go off on several tangents all at once. Don’t worry though, all roads eventually lead to rome and we get to the point I always intended on making. It’s a wild ride and if you throw a helmet on and join the ride.
For YEARS I’ve felt insecure about so much. Who I am. What I am. What I wish I was and who I am not being for all those around me. I’ve had so much self doubt about everything I do. Anything I say. Everything I wear. Literally everything. I’ve second guessed every decision I’ve made and then assumed that everyone hates me, my decision and everything about me after each decision. I post a lot on instagram (as we do) but it’s so censored. Everyone feels the need to correct you with their own opinion. Why can’t we all just have a difference of opinion and still get along? Just because that’s your way of thinking, doesn’t mean it’s right. It just means that it’s right for you.
But I’ve realised that there’s only one way around all of this…
It’s debilitating. And it’s stupid. (Also I suck at grammar so try and push past it and enjoy the content of my posts).
What I’ve come to realise is that when I’ve got something to say- there’s always someone that resonates. There’s always someone who’s grateful to hear it and theres’s always someone who feels seen. Someone once said to me ‘I need you to be ok because you’re one of the special ones’. I didn’t actually realise what she meant and just paid it off as yet another compliment I couldn’t possibly accept. But this comment did actually stop me in my tracks and make me really think about how I’m perceived. I’ve actually learnt more about this since I discovered Human Design and threw myself into an untapped gold mine of information about who I came here to be… (more on that in future substack releases!)
I know I have a special way of getting my stories across. I could use the cliche ‘It’s real and raw’ but that’s annoying to hear. It’s also accurate which is even more annoying. I like to share the realness of my experiences because I know that there will be someone else that needed to read it.
I write what I wish was out there for me to read. I write what’s not out there for me to read when I need to hear it. I write what I truly wish someone else had written.
Thank you for being here. I am insanely grateful that you’ve giving me a chance and that you’re here to take in what I have to say… Future substack releases will have a lot more substance so if you’re a paid subscriber… thank you. I pledge to you that you will have plenty of content straight outta my brain to enjoy!
So to get things started, I’m going to introduce some intricate parts of myself and allow you to get to know more about the person behind the words you’ll get to read from here on.
So….please continue reading to find out 5 things about me that I haven’t shared much over on my IG profile…